eyes focus listening ears quiet bodies calm

Eyes focus listening ears quiet bodies calm how to#
Eyes focus listening ears quiet bodies calm full#

A calm tone can be difficult to maintain if the other person is heated themselves (I had to work really hard at this when my children were teenagers!), but it will help you avoid escalation. A loud tone can be off-putting and perhaps make the speaker feel you’re judging them or trying to shut them down. I try to use a quiet, measured voice to keep things flowing. And try to sit still – lots of fidgeting can imply that you’re bored or impatient for them to finish. Nodding or making other affirming gestures can also show you’re listening fully. I always try to face the person talking to me and make eye contact. Positive body language is critical in conveying your complete attention. When I’m listening to a friend, I make a deliberate effort to remind myself to focus, by mentally using phrases like, “Keep your mind on what he’s saying,” or “Remember to listen carefully.” I also try and repeat the main points in my head, to help me get a clearer picture of the problem. Try to remove mental distractions as well.

It only takes a moment to say, “I’ll just put my phone on silent so I can focus on what you’re saying,” so they know you’re taking things seriously. So, find a quiet place, free from distractions, and limit the possibility of interruptions.

Eyes focus listening ears quiet bodies calm full#

You can’t give someone your full attention if you’re checking your phone or you’ve got one eye on the TV. Here are a few more skills that I try to practice to be a better listener.

Eyes focus listening ears quiet bodies calm how to#

RELATED: How to Keep Listening When God Seems Silent W hen Jesus met the downcast disciples on the road to Emmaus after his crucifixion, he asked what they were talking about, although he already knew! When he met a Samaritan woman at the well, he began by asking her for a drink. He usually began by finding a point of contact and by gently asking questions to encourage people to open up. When I think about how Jesus showed compassion to those he met, I remember times when he took time to listen. There’s an old saying: “God gave us two ears and only one mouth, so we can listen twice as much as we speak.” Offering a listening ear to someone who needs to unburden their problems can make all the difference to how they feel. I’d been so busy thinking about what I was saying that I hardly remembered what my partner had said, and I wasn’t alone!

She then asked me to share what my partner had told me.

I clearly remember attending a training course where the instructor asked us to share a little about ourselves with the person sitting next to us. But being a good listener isn’t as easy as it sounds. When we’re in trouble or suffering, having someone truly listen to us, even if they can’t offer a solution, can be a great comfort.